But I Do Love You
by Ultrawoman
Summary: One-Shot. Wade has been acting strangely since Zoe announced that Joel was gone and wouldn't be coming back, and Vivian has a feeling she knows what's wrong. If he's not going to do something about it, then she will. [post-3x16 Carrying Your Love With Me]


**A/N: Season 3 is not fun. Just thought I'd throw that out there. It has it's moments, but mostly, painful! Especially the lack of Zade. So, this is how I'm making myself feel better about it, writing fix-it fic, which seems pretty popular with you reader-types, even though you know how everything does or doesn't work out, while I sit here in the dark not wanting to know about it until I watch some more! lol Anywho, enough rambling, time for Zade-fixing :)**

 _ **(Disclaimer: All recognisable characters and any recognisable dialogue from Hart of Dixie belong to Leila Gerstein and other folks who aren't me).**_

But I Do Love You

"Wade?"

"I'm sorry, what?"

He looked to Vivian like he barely had an idea where he was, and she couldn't help the sad smile that came to her lips. The poor guy, he had been like this for more than two weeks now, and she knew why. She asked him a couple of times if he was okay, if anything was bothering him, but he only laughed, told her not to worry so much. Still, she knew there was something, or someone, on his mind.

"Okay," she said, turning on the couch to better face him, getting ready for this conversation that she had been hoping to avoid, and yet. "So, this is not going to be easy, but I really think we need a little honesty here."

"Honesty?" Wade echoed, frowning some. "You think I've been lying to you about somethin'?"

"Oh, no. Not at all, Wade. I know you're a good guy, I'm not about to question that," Vivian promised him. "You know, after my husband, well, when he left us, God I was not in a good place. I didn't know how my life was going to go. I'd been married so long, I barely knew how to just be me, and then there was you," she said with a smile. "You came into my life right when I needed somebody. You treated me like a person, like a woman. I am so grateful to you for that, and I have loved these months that we have spent together," she promised, her hand on his knee, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Viv, you're talking like... like you're about to tell me we're done," said Wade, watching her with a troubled gaze.

"It's not something I wanna do, not really. You know how I feel about you, at least, I hope so, but then, that's partly why I have to do this," she tried to explain. "Wade," she said, taking one of his hands in both of hers, "ever since Zoe stood up in the Rammer Jammer and said that Joel wasn't coming back-"

"Viv," he tried to interrupt, shaking his head, but she couldn't let him.

"Please, let me finish," she urged him. "Ever since that day, you haven't been the same, and honestly, I'm not all that surprised," she admitted, meeting Wade's eyes. "I knew what I was getting into when we started dating. I knew you and Zoe had something pretty serious before, and even though you both swore up and down that you were past all that, I just... I always had this feeling there was... unfinished business.

"Once Joel was out of the picture, like I said, that day in the bar you just... changed. Something happened to you. For days now, you've been so quiet and thoughtful, worrying on something that you can't tell me about. Can you honestly say that it isn't all about Zoe?"

He wanted to tell her she was wrong. She could see it in his eyes. Wade Kinsella was a good guy these days. Everybody knew the rep he had years ago, but he was capable of change, of real commitment, Vivian knew. The problem was, he had been trying to prove it with the wrong person. Still, he was struggling with saying as much, which was why she knew she had to say it for him.

"Wade, you're still in love with Zoe," she told him, swallowing hard as her own voice cracked with emotion, "and I can't be certain, but I wouldn't be at all surprised if she was still in love with you too."

"I know she's your cousin," said Wade then, "but you don't know her like I do."

"Maybe not," she agreed, "but you're not denyin' the first part, are you?"

His eyes dipped down to the floor and he looked almost as emotional as she felt. This was just awful, as Vivian had known it would be, but that didn't mean it didn't have to be done.

"I'm sorry, Viv," he told her eventually. "I didn't think... I mean, I honestly thought I could get over her. For a while, I... God, that crazy woman got under my skin and I just can't get rid of her!"

"I don't think you ever really wanted to," said Vivian, smiling even as a tear escaped and she quickly wiped it away. "She didn't just get under your skin, Wade, she got into your heart. Trust me, that's a tough thing to shake. Much as I'd love to say I am completely over my ex-husband and would never have him back, I can't. There's no way I can say never. There's no way I could ever entirely stop loving him."

Wade nodded that he understood. Love didn't just go away. It could change, it could fade some, but it was always there. When you were _in_ love with somebody, he supposed that was kind of a permanent condition. It seemed like it must be, because Vivian was right, he wasn't over Zoe. He couldn't ever be.

"So, this is it," he said, gripping onto her hand. "You and me, all over and done."

"It has to be, doesn't it?" she said, giving him a chance to argue, knowing already he wouldn't take it, he couldn't.

"It has to be," he agreed, since it was all he could do. "I am so sorry, Vivian."

"Don't be," she said, shaking her head and smiling bravely. "We had a good run and I don't regret any of it, Wade. We both needed somebody, so we leaned on each other a while. It's different now. I know how to stand on my own two feet, and you... you've got a second chance with the woman you love most in all the world," she said, voice cracking again and she couldn't stop it this time. "Please, don't waste it," she forced out, more tears coming unbidden.

Wade couldn't take seeing her cry like that, pulling her to him and holding her close, his chin resting on top of her head. She didn't deserve this, not any of it, but there was just no way for him to make it better. The fact Vivian was the one ending this, just so he could go and try to get back together with her own cousin, it proved how amazing she really was. Wade wished he could make this work with her, but she was right, he couldn't, not in the long run. Zoe was the one for him, the only one, and he had no way to deny it any more. Of course, none of it meant a damn thing if he tried to talk to her about this and she told him no. Vivian seemed pretty confident that she had to let Wade try again with his ex, but that didn't mean that Zoe wanted the same thing.

"You know, it'll be worth it," said Vivian then, pulling out of his arms to look at him, wearing a watery smile. "To see you and Zoe so happy. You _will_ make each other happy, Wade, I know it," she told him definitely, her hand at his cheek. "You both deserve it too."

"You're an amazing woman, Vivian Wilkes," he told her, just as firmly, planting a kiss on her forehead. "Don't you ever forget that."

"I promise I won't," she told him, laughing a little, "if you promise me that you will do your darndest to make things work with Zoe."

"I promise," he said, nodding his head. "I really do."

 _...a few days later..._

For maybe the first time in his life, Wade remembered his manners and knocked on the door. He heard Zoe call 'Come in' and took a deep breath before he stepped inside to find her sitting lotus style on her bed with the laptop close by.

"Wade, hi," she said, clearly surprised to see him. "Uh, you're back."

"Yeah, I'm back," he said, nodding confirmation and shoving his hands in his pockets because he had never felt so damn awkward.

"Vivian told me that you and she... um, that... well, she told me what happened," she rambled, putting her computer aside and moving as if she planned to get to her feet.

She stopped short of actually standing, instead sitting on the edge of the bed facing Wade, looking as weird about this whole thing as he felt.

"She tell you everything about what happened?" asked Wade, taking his hands back out of his pockets and rubbing the back of his neck.

Zoe frowned. "She told me you broke up. That it was nobody's fault, it just wasn't meant to be," she explained. "I'm sorry, Wade. I know how much you cared for her."

"I did," he agreed, nodding his head. "I do, but... well, there's different kinds of caring and liking and... and love, I guess," he said, shifting in place before finally finding some kind of inner strength or whatever it was he needed to say what had to be said. "Look, Zoe," he began at last, making himself meet her gaze, "I went away for a while because I needed to get my head straight before we had this conversation. Fact of the matter is, me and Vivian broke up because... well, because we both knew it wasn't going to last. It couldn't, because as much as I love her, I can't be _in_ love with her. I can't give her all of me, because most of me is... well, 'cause most of me is still waitin' on you," he forced out.

Zoe's eyes widened at his words but she said nothing. She was shocked, maybe, Wade supposed, but whether she was happy or sad or angry or whatever else, he couldn't say. He kind of wished she would just tell him already, but apparently, it wasn't going to happen unless he forced the issue.

"Come on, doc," he said, running a hand over his face. "Don't leave me hangin' like this. Now, I know you loved Joel, I'm not tryin' to say you didn't. Like I said, I loved Viv too, but... but I'm talking about you and me, Zoe. I'm talking about that day before you left for New York, when we stood by that fence outside of Atlanta and I poured my heart out to you, because the fact is, nothin's really changed for me.

"Zoe Hart, I love you, same as I did then. I thought if I pushed it aside, I could move past it, but I can't. I just can't do it. Now, I understand if you can't feel the same-"

It was as far as he got before she was right there in front of him, her arms up around his neck as she went up on her tip toes, pulling him down to meet her in a perfect kiss. Wade didn't waste the opportunity. His arms wound around Zoe as he pulled her close as he could get her and returned her kiss with everything he had. They were both breathless when they parted, but also smiling.

"Wade, I am so sorry," she said eventually, meeting his eyes. "That day when you told me how you felt, I was so... It was too much. I felt so conflicted and overwhelmed, but the truth is, even then, a part of me knew that I loved you too," she told him definitely. "I just got so scared, after how things went with us, after what you did-"

"Doc, you know I'm sorry about that."

"I do know, and I do forgive you, Wade, you know I do. God knows, we've both suffered enough since then. You hurt me before, I can't pretend that was okay, but like I said, I do forgive you. I only hope that you can forgive me."

"What do I have to forgive you for?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Are you kidding?" she said, eyes wide. "For saying I'd come back in three months and not doing it. For telling you I wasn't coming back in a frickin' email! For rubbing my new relationship with Joel in your face. For almost screwing up what you tried to have with Vivian. For-"

This time he cut her off with a kiss, and she didn't protest any more than he had before. Their foreheads were still pressed together when the moment ended.

"I forgive you, doc, for every damn thing," he promised. "I know we're a pair of real screw-ups when it comes to relationships, but I swear, if we can just give this everything we've got this time around... We take this second chance and we can make it work, Zoe, I know we can."

"We kind of have to," she told him, smiling up at him, "because we tried the best alternatives we could find and look what happened. God, how crazy were we to think anybody else would measure up?"

"Pretty darn crazy, doc," he agreed, laughing because he just couldn't help it. "It's always been you for me, Zoe. I can't explain it. Hell, I wish I could, but something happened to me that night you came storming into my house yelling about that damn fuse box for the first time."

She laughed at that. "Yeah, well, as much as I tried not to fall for that church social smile of yours, it is pretty irresistible."

"Oh, is that right?" he said, kissing her again even as she laughed with real joy.

It felt good to be so close again, to be allowed to be. Still, it was important they were both on the same page this time around, that nobody was left wondering where they stood or anything.

"Hey, Zoe," said Wade when they parted from their kiss, "you know I'm serious about this, right? That I'm real serious about you?"

"I know," she promised, smiling wide. "We are going to make it work this time, Wade. We can't not. I have just missed you so much."

They clung to each other like their lives depended on it, all desperate kisses and whispered words of love and forever, as they stumbled towards the bed. The next part of their making up wasn't going to require any talking. There would, undoubtedly, have to be more in the way of conversation later, but right now, all they needed was to be close to each other. It had been way, _way_ too long.

The End

 **IMPORTANT: For those that don't know (and I'm sure everybody does by now, but whatever! lol) I'm watching Hart of Dixie for the first time and trying to avoid spoilers, so while I will be extremely grateful for any reviews I might get on this story, I would appreciate nothing that might spoil me for anything beyond episode 3x16. Many thanks in advance :)**


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